I Fear God, and I’m Afraid of God

I Fear God, and I’m Afraid of God

“Perhaps the reality is that I fear God in a new way. Before I understood he had power, but now I know he has power. Before I knew God would exercise his power in giving what I love, but now I know God will also exercise his power in taking what I love. Before life was easy because God’s sovereignty always seemed inclined toward the things I wanted anyway, but now life is hard because I see that God’s sovereignty may also be inclined towards the things I dread, the things I would not wish for. I’ve chosen to submit myself to that sovereignty, to continue to pray “Thy will be done.” But even as I pray, I cringe just a little. I pray the words with little faith and with some hesitation. Even as I say the words, at least for now, I feel some measure of dread. For I know that he will work his will—his good will—no matter what it gives to me or takes from me. It’s the taking I fear. And behind the taking, the Taker.”

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